Learning to Count to 10 (and more!) with John McCain

Learning to Count to 10 (and more!) with John McCain
-        (via Gangster Octopus @ DailyKos.com)  
Hello Boys and Girls, and welcome; today's special guest is John
MCCain. Mr. McCain is a Senator from Arizona and currently the
Republican nominee for President of the United States. He is here
today to help you learn how to count. Ready???   0... Zero represents how much about economics and computers
John McCain has admitted he knows.   1... One is the number of wives John McCain left, after she got
in a car accident, for a younger woman.   2... Two is the number of positions John McCain has had (some
even twice!) on many important issues, like privatizing Social Security,
Lobbyists, Torture, Roe v Wade, the Bush Tax Cuts, and so many more.   3... The number of times John McCain mispronounced Georgian
President Saakashvili' s name during a recent press conference.   4... Is the minimum number of years of Bush's third term we would
get if John McCain is elected.   5... Is the number of multi-million dollar jets that John McCain
crashed while in the Navy.   5 and 1/2... That's the number of years John McCain wasn't allowed
to count to ten because he was a POW.   6... That would be how many million$ of dollar$ the McCain campaign
splooshed into an Olympic ad buy, beating out the $5 million the
Obama campaign had previously announced it would be spending during
the Olympic Games.   6... Also see 72.   7... The number of houses John McCain and his wife own or   8... The number of houses John McCain and his wife own or   9... The number of houses John McCain and his wife own or   10... The number of houses John McCain and his wife own or   11... The number of houses John McCain and his wife own....   12... Things younger than John McCain (years): FM Radio (1),
Minimum Wage (2), Automatic Car Transmission (4), Bugs Bunny (4),
McDonalds (4), Mount Rushmore Completed (5), Polyester (5),
Bob Dylan (5), Cheerios (5), Duct Tape (6), Barack Obama's Mom (6),
Alaska (23)   13... Number of times non-celebrity John McCain has been on Jay
Leno's late night show.   14...15....16. ..17... this ever growing number is how many times John
McCain has referenced his former POW status. Just recently. Like
since last week.   43... This is the number of Presidents who were younger than John
McCain would be when first taking office. Wait.... that would be all of
them!   44... That's the age of John McCain's surprise pick for Vice
President, the governor of the least populous state in the U.S.
(which also receives the most earmark monies per capita from the Feds
AND a socialist kickback to each resident from Oil companies) whose
inexperience will truly be a blessing should 72 year old John McCain
not live through his first term as President.   72... That's the age John McCain turned in late August, which brings
us back to 6, as in, Actuaries say there is a 1 in 6 chance 72 year
old John McCain won't live through his first term as President.   90 and 95...Did you know John McCain voted with George Bush 90% of
the time in 2006 and 95% of the time in 2007?   100... John McCain said we might be in Iraq 100 years. That's a lot of
years!   680,157... This weird number is the average amount of dollar$ of tax
relief the top .01% of earners would get under John McCain. The
bottom quintile will get $101.   5,000,000... Five million is a big number, but according to John
McCain it is not a big amount of money. It just barely qualifies you as
rich.

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